At work again, and not feeling like me at all. Physically and emotionally. Woke up with bad sore throat, worse than yesterday. Did not want to work at all. But, here I am sitting on my chair staring out the window, silently. Then out of nowhere, tears started to build up. Why am I crying? Why right now? I feel awful and I feel defeated. I am drained and my semester has yet to start. I am healing, very, very slowly. My heart sank as the painful events flashback...about everything. Abandoned, misunderstood, given up on, and pressured on. So many expectations from me, but I have none anymore of others. I didn't use to feel this way, I feel forced to think this way...
But, of course, something inspiring happens.
Someone comes in the office after volunteering their time. " Here, I found this, maybe this belongs to someone," as he hands me a key chain. I expressed my appreciation and sat back down. The door closed behind him and I looked at the silver key chain and my heart jumped. It is an oval silver key chain with black imprinted footsteps, I slowly turn it and I smiled as I read the inscription:
" My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. When you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."
I stood up and went to the break room and cried. Tears of hope and relief. How is this not a sign? How can it be coincidence that at the moment when I felt like all hope has been lost this was given to me as a reminder? My God, I know you are here. Its hard to see you, even through the cracks of my heart, but I feel you closer in my sorrow.
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