Today, I woke up lost. I didn’t know where I was this morning. No, It is definitely not the results from a “good time” the night before! I was confused and it felt like I was still half asleep. I had to look around and finally remembered that I was in my own room, my own bed. I laid there; hours before having to get up for work, thinking. I DESPISE thinking. I was going over and over events, analyzing words, translating the true meaning of things...all in my head. The more I thought about, the more upset I became. The more the sinking feeling slammed me down. The more I just decided to give up and try to sleep it off until I had to get up for work instead of praying.
Two hours later, my continuous alarm sets off at 7:00 am. It was time to get up. I laid there for twenty minutes, but this time not thinking about anything. Yet, I still felt confused. The silence of my house was frightening to me. The emptiness of my room was chilling, until I heard a very familiar and comforting sound. The sound of my dog’s, Suzy, bells on her collar. I looked over the side of my bed and there she was lying on her side, fast asleep. I felt comforted. I felt safe again. I laid there on my side looking at her be. Her tummy rose up and down and her sensitive ears fidgeted. I reached over to pet her and she slowly turned her head to look at me.
The alarm went off again! I had twenty minutes to get ready for work. I got dressed and drove off. I arrived only 10 minutes before having to open the office. Opening the office has always been a quiet procedure. No one there besides me. I quietly opened the door, the bathrooms, made the coffee, and checked the messages. I went to my “bin” to get my list of responsibilities of the day. Just under the list, there was a bulky small package, it seemed, perfectly placed in the back. On it was an envelope with my name on it.
I took it, made myself a cup of coffee (only because I was starving!), and went back to my front desk. I removed the envelope which was taped to what it seemed a shape of a book. I unwrapped the paper wrapping to reveal a small white book titled, God’s Personal Promises for Women. The cover was white with pink writing and a picture of a vase filled with my favorite flower, pink tulips. I froze. “ Who can possibly have given this to me?” and then I remembered that I have not opened the card yet!
“Sometimes life just doesn’t make any sense. Bad things happen to good people, and we all wonder why. But even in these moments, some things remain true-God loves you. He has a plan for your life…you are loved...you are never alone…and even the darkest night must lead to dawn”
My throat swelled up and the tears, that I promised never to produce again, started to run down my cheeks. I flipped opened the card to find it handwritten,
“ Andreina, I’m praying for peace and comfort for your heart. Love, Vicky”
Vicky is a good friend of mine that I made here at work. She is a great role model for me, not only because she is slightly older than me, but because of how wise and how she thinks out of the box. She is pregnant with her first son. We are all so excited for her. I always knew there was something special about my Vicky. We are always laughing and constantly talking. She is the sweetest woman I have ever met. So, to receive this card and book, on a morning like the one I was having, filled in some of the small cracks in my heart.
I have been constantly reminded how lucky I TRULY am to have the friends that I have. To have people care about me just as much as I care for them.
It angers me how just the loss (not due to death) of one man, excuse me, one boy, whom at one point I believed was the one, my bestest friend, my everything- was going to blind me to realize that. To see what true friends I really have and how THEY have been there for me through everything. THEY have been unselfish and compassionate towards me. That ONE boy can never outweigh the MANY, TRUE OF HEART, friends that I have. Even though, there was a time when I was convinced I did not need anyone else but him, THANK- YOU GOD, for ripping off that blindfold from eyes. THANK-YOU GOD, for sending me the REAL ANGELS to my side.
Until next time,
Andreina :]
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